Why I Shouldn't Be Planning.

I'm not good at all when it's about planning. I mean it, not only about writing. I can plan the whole day- what to do every moment, but there is always something that goes wrong.
Well, think about it, it's really impossible to plan every detail in your life. I try to do it and fail every single time.

A few years ago, I had a story that I planned everything it it. I knew what's going to happen every chapter, from the begining to the end. I still love the plot I created and I think it could work, but then.. I got frustrated in the few first chapters. I used to skip chapters only to write the interesting ones, those I planned in my mind countless times. It's useless to said it didn't work well, I've got bored and abandoned my story. I loved it, but it wasn't interesting for me anymore, since I knew what was going to happen.

Maybe it sounds weird, I know it might, but it's how I've felt. I still feel the same. My last story, the only one I've ever completed (besides a short one, a few years ago), was supposed to be a fantasy. I wrote three chapter and everything was fine, but then I started writing the part when the plot was going to the fantasy direction. I felt it wasn't good so I sent it to one of my friends. She told me something like that: "Look, I love your writing and this story, but I think it shouldn't be fantasy."
I thought about that, deleted the part, and wrote another one instead. I had no direction and I wasn't sure where the story was headed when my main plot was gone, but I kept writing. I never regret it.

One of the things I loved about writing is finding your way in the middle. You know, writing is like living for me, I just keep writing until I find something that disturbs my plans. I take a step back, checking the options, getting frustrated because I hate changes, but finally I find my way back on the road. I start writing first chapters without realizing what I'm writing about, and then I can discover my characters and my story. Sometimes I keep writing because I really want to know what happen next, I really don't know. But I will, and I do, every time, and I love it.

It's not easy, it's like finding your way in the dark, trying to find how to turn on the light. It's like being in a place you don't know and you're afraid you can't get out. You know what? I'm being afraid every time, I'm not brave at all.. but I'm doing it because I have no other option.

So, I keep bringing a map and extra money every time I go to another city with my friends. I'm checking bus and train's timing, and I'm stressful. I try drawing main direction to my story, and to decide where it's going..
But I'm not good at all about planning.